I was broke after buying this car and I was in need of gas. I didn't realize that the car was halfway to empty until I left the dealer ship. It behooves me how you can plop down thousands of dollars but they can't afford to fill the car up. At any rate I can't be too mad with them cause I should have caught it. At any rate so the closer I get to my house the lower the tank gets. So for the past few days I'd hussled every penny and dime I could. I'd spent my last little bit trying to fix the flat tire on my other car and I managed to get $5 to put into my new car. Well as everyone knows $5 doesn't get you much. In fact it got me two gallons of gas. But I'm still on "E".

Well Saturday evenings I go to church. The church services is held about 15 miles from my house and I knew that two gallons would be gone on the ride out there. So, I have a dilemma. Do I not go to church because If I do then I won't have any gas for the rest of the week? Or do I go and trust that God will make a way? So this morning I prayed for a while. I really wanted to go to church but I didn't not want to have any gas to get to work. I find it interesting that people will make a way to get to work but when it comes to God they cut corners. Then we wonder why when we need something from God he doesn't show up for us. I know my job is not more important than my faith so I resolved to go to church and see how the gas thing goes. I remember thinking that it would be nice to go to church and after have God speak a word to someone to bless me with $20 so I could get some gas.

As I was praying my Spirit started ministering to me about my pride. I received a word to call someone to borrow $20 dollars until Friday. So I get up the nerve to call a friend. I asked for $10 and she said that she had it. So I get in my car head over to her house and she hands me a sandwhich and two oranges along with an envelope. She said that she didn't have $10 and wanted to know if $20 would work. I told her it would and thanked her profusely. She looked at my car and said that we could still name it "Sugar". That was the name she'd given the Kia that I had. It was white in color my the Hyundai is blue. I told her that I'd been calling it "God's Gift".

As I left, I was feeling pretty good and on my way to church. I wasn't expecting anything but to hear a good word, which I got. After church I talked to some people on my way out. When I got outside there was a lady and her son standing outside of the church. I looked over and told them to have a blessed week and she walked over to me to give me a hug but then she slipped something that felt like paper in my hand. We continued talking about the goodness of God and Jesus being the reason for the season. No word was mentioned about what she'd given me although I knew what it was. I got in the car and looked at my palm and there lay a folded $20 bill. I had to praise the Lord. I hadn't spoken my need to anyone but God and the friend I'd called earlier. I knew that God must have placed it on her heart to approach me. It just amazes me how faithful God can be and I'm grateful that there are still people who hear God and are obedient to His word.

Every once in a while I have a day that tries my nerves and my faith like no other day. Well, today was one of those days. I've often heard it said that when you follow the Lord things don't get easier and I'm learning they don't. My day started off with me taking back the Kia I bought a few weeks ago. The loan I used to finance the car had certain requirements that the Kia didn't fit. The solution, the dealer had to put me in a bigger, more expensive car. It's a 2004 Hyundai Sonata. I wanted a Toyota Corolla but somehow I ended up with the Sonata. The issue with this current arrangement is the payments stay about the same as the Kia but the loan term is longer and my car insurance goes up.

After dealing with the car, I've got some other things to take care of. Stuff like the cell phone bill I can't pay trying to buy a car, the gas I need to put in my "new" car, donating my old car and working on a project for one of my classes that should have been done before today. But that's life right?

So I get home and call the Kidney Foundation so that I can donate my car. I forgot to mention to you all that about a week ago one of the tires on my old car went flat. The lady helping me at the Kidney Foundation asks if there are any flat tires or broken windows. Of course she's going to ask that. So I tell her about the tire and she says that I need to get that taken care of before they can tow it. I'm thinking I really don't want to put any more money into this car.  I tell her I'm going to take care of it. After getting off the phone I start reading a notice that was left inside my door. And what do you know? The notice is from the property management saying that there's a tan Volvo parked in the parking lot with a flat tire that was cited on 09/07/2005 (I'm assuming they meant 12/07/2005) and it would be towed on Friday, December 19, 2005 (I'm assuming that's a typo too since the 19th is a Monday) if the tire isn't fixed and the car doesn't move. What's really jacked up about this is that they put this notice in every tenants door. There's only eight units so it's not too bad but everyone here knows it's my car. So I go by the office to talk to the guy and leave my info for him to call me back. But at the office one of the administrators suggested that I try getting a product called "Fix-A-Flat". It comes in a can and it's supposed to coat the inside of the tire. So I go buy a can for about $5.00 (my last) and does it work. Let's just say it didn't for me but it's still a cool concept. So, the guy calls me back and I explain the situation. He agrees (albeit reluctantly) to give me another week to take care of the issue.

After that fire gets put out, I still have to deal with my class project. Which to my knowledge is still incomplete. Everytime I turn around I'm getting an an email from my group mates telling me "you haven't done this" or "you haven't done that" or "this doesn't work" etc, etc... They're so concerned with what I need to do that they don't realize that their stuff isn't perfect either. They're emailing me about things that in the big scheme of the project doesn't matter. But all of that got me to thinking.

Why is it that we never focus on the good. Why is it that when people do things right we don't acknowledge it. Or whenever we are facing serious obstacles we focus on the bad. The same goes for faith. God has been more than gracious to me. I have everything I need. I may not have everything I want but I have all that I need. But the minute problems occur I forget about the good God has done and continues to do for me. He didn't have to do it. I start focusing on the problem and asking God why is all this happening? But I remember a verse of scripture that says trials and tribulations come to make us strong so count it all joy. Or something like that...

Well, what can I say? God made a way! On Friday December 2, 2005 (my brother and nephew's b-day), I was blessed to buy another car. It's a 2001 Kia Rio. Nothing fancy, but it feels nice to drive a car that if something happens to it over the next few years, I know it's covered. Although I have a car note now the car is still afforadable enough for me to make the payments fairly comfortably.

I thought I'd share that praise report just in case there's someone else who needs to know that God is still in the blessing business. He never left...

This has been a really interesting past couple of weeks. Where do I begin? I'll begin with my car. It's been having issues for the past few weeks. Last Sunday it finally had all that it could take. It's an older car (a 1991 Volvo station wagon) and she's done me well for the past year and a half. The car starts and before I can even put it in drive it cuts off. I just got the car worked on two weeks ago and the car stopped again. It's doing the same thing now as it was doing before I took it in to be worked on so I'm guessing that the problem wasn't fixed. The issue with this car is that every place I go I'm told that they don't work on Volvo's or they work on Volvo's but they don't have the equipment to work on mine because it's too old. My mom, and the mechanic I took the car to, have both suggested that I look into buying another car. I would have thought of that a long time ago if I could afford a car note.

So, because of this it's interfering with my job. But I get the feeling that certain people seem to think it's my fault. Like I had some superhuman power to forsee that my car was going to break down (again) and now that it has it's an inconvenience. I agree. It's not only an inconvience to the job but for me! It's hard when I have to be at work at 5a but the buses don't start running until 5:30a. I'm desperately looking for a car but unfortunately I don't have much to put down b/c I put what I had into the car that's now sitting in my parking lot. I'm trying not to make excuses and honestly I'm not stressed. Just a little confused about certain peoples reaction to the situation. Some folks have not been really supportive (they've almost been kind of jerkish) but I guess you gotta be who you've got to be. Maybe they've never been in my situation and I hope they never have to be because it really doesn't feel good.

In addition, I'm also looking for new employment. My job wants us to do this and do that but has yet to give us a raise. I haven't seen one of those in almost two years! So, I'm working harder, I've gotten no raise and I'm expected to have the funds to aquire adequate transportation. I guess that makes sense in some people's world but unfortunately it doesn't in mine.

The other day I asked a friend in the faith to say a prayer for me while I search for a car and they politely replied "we have not, because we ask not". That wasn't exactly what I was hoping to hear but they may be on to something. I thought I'd been asking God but maybe the problem is not that I haven't been asking but that I didn't necessarily believe that I would receive what I was asking for. And I know that's not what faith's about. If I don't believe that what I ask for in Jesus's name I will receive then why ask? I ponder that sometimes. And Lord knows I'm working on believing what I am asking for. If He's done it once, He's more than capable of doing it again.

I just felt like saying that.

Today is a good day in my life right now. After, two years of trying to get this thing off the ground, caferadio.org, is ready to start broadcasting. And I'm so grateful! I've still got a ton of songs to add to my playlist but I thank God for seeing me through this far. All praises due unto Him who is faithful to complete the good work which He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6). Hopefully, caferadio is only the beginning....

Where do I start. Last Friday afternoon, I said to myself that I was going to have a nice relaxing day off.  I decided to go to the gym that morning. Normally, I'd go on Saturday but I will be attending a New Member Orientation at the church I attend. Before I even got to the gym I dropped my parking pass and it landed in the oddest of places. A crack between the stairs and the wall. Now, I'm freaking out because I've lost my parking pass before and there's a $15 fee for lost parking passes. Problem: I didn't have $15 to give them. I was on my way to talk to the parking attendant, when my spirit suggested I go back to the stairs. I go back to the stairs and I stand where I dropped the card. Then something said notice that the stairway is open underneath. Not something I'd normally pay attention to but I remembered seeing bikes parked up under there before. Maybe the card fell through the crack to the floor underneath the stairs. I run down the steps and what do you know? The stairway is open underneath. But I don't see my card. I noticed that I could see light from above through the small crack between the stairs and the wall. It was really dusty and I could see my card sitting on a pile of it. So I grabbed some flyers the gym had and tried to knock the card through the dust. Finally, the card fell to the floor. Whew!

So, after the gym I decided to stop by my job to pick up some things I'd left the previous Wednesday (I have Thursday's, Friday's and Saturday's off). So, I get to work, picked up the stuff I came for, dropped off some peanut butter cups I'd purchased that I really didn't need to be eating, joked around with some co-workers, and left. On my way back home I decided to stop off at the Tower store up the street from my apartment. I spent like 45 minutes in the store. I get back to my car and turned the key to start the ignition. Oddly the car had power but it sounded like it was out of gas. That's weird because I still had half a tank of gas left so that couldn't be the problem. I turned the car off and tried it again. Only this time the car started, made noises like it was out of gas and then cut off. I tried it again just to see if I could pump the gas pedal. But while I was trying that the car cut off again. So, at this point I'm figuring so much for my relaxing day. I'm basically stranded. I call my job to get one of my co-workers to come look at the car. I've been having issues with the starter, the "Brake" light had been on for a few weeks, the "Service" light comes on and the "Check Engine" light makes an appearance periodically so I figured it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. Problem is I don't know which problem it is. I'm hoping this doesn't turn out to be a big issue.

Why is trying to be holy a sin?
What have I done to earn the condemnation of men?
My heart only yearns to belong
but the deeper my faith grows
the more I'm made to feel it's wrong.
It's hard sometimes to do what's right.
But the Lord promised that his yoke was
easy and his burden would be light.
What to do when you try to play both hands?
I'm a child of God that's true
but aren't we all?
I'm learning that in order to fly
I must not be afraid to fall....

This may be small to some but colossal to me. My department at work has gotten smaller and covering hours has gotten difficult. I'll spare the details of the shifts but my work week began on Sunday and as a result of the lack of coverage I will have Sunday's off. Sunday has undeniably have to be my favorite day of the week. It feels like the world slows down. It's my lazy day and I'm soooo glad to have it back. More proof that prayers do get answered.

I needed some serious affirmation this morning when I woke up. I start my work week on Sunday's and I seriously was not feeling like being there today. I really don't like working on Sunday's. It's my chill day. Not to mention the job itself. I've been praying to God help me start a new career in the area of internet technology i.e. the web. I'm back in school taking classes trying to bridge the gap but I still feel like there's SO much to learn. Throughout the morning a song kept coming to my heart that I must admit I haven't heard in quite some time. I started singing it and realized that it was a song by Fred Hammond entitled "Yes He Will". The lyrics almost read like a sermon and I swear it ministered to me this morning. The song goes something like this:

I will live and not die/For every need there is supply/For the Savior says just ask, just ask and/Believe that you'll receive/And if you ask the impossible won't He do it somebody say/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, oh yes He will/From deep in debt to being free/If you need that mountain in the sea/If it seems to hard for you/Just believe that He wants to/Do what seems impossible for you right now just say yeah/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, oh yes He will/Right now can you say with me/I believe He'll bless me/I believe He'll touch me/I believe He'll heal me/Oh yes He/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, yes He will/Believe only and do not doubt/If fear moves in evict it out/For the Lord responds to faith/And He longs to save the day/And if you ask the impossible, won't He do it say/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, oh yes He will/Our Father He loves to respond to our faith/It's his good pleasure/And if I ask the impossible will He do it for me/I gotta believe one thing/That He will.

I've started this blog to chronicle my many prayer request, testimonies and daily spiritual revealings. The inspiration for this came about while reading the book, The Prayer of Jabez. I've been told in the past that I need to keep a spiritual journal of all the things I've asked God for and all of the things He's doing in my life. About a year ago I felt the pull of my Spirit urging me to start writing again but I didn't really know what to write about. Since that time I've been asking God to show me more about Himself and in turn He's placed it upon my heart to do what I've been told for years, to keep a journal. So here it is. I've killed enough trees already with my ramblings so know I'm going to take up some bandwith.

What follows, is a list of some of my prayer requests, not in any particular order. I originally wrote them out on paper several weeks ago and I am blessed to say that one of them has already been answered.

• To receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit.


• For my family and friends needs to be met.


• Getting my car serviced, before Jan 2006, because the "Service" and "Check Engine Light" come on constantly. And that's the month I've got to get the car SMOGed.


• Taking a trip to the UK


• Purchasing a sectional sofa for my living room in beige or brown.


• Learning how to love people that aggrevate me.


• Purchasing a Mac computer. I'm still undecided about getting the PowerBook or the iMac


• Completely paying off both of my student loans.


• Moving back to Atlanta and purchasing a house (Loft or Bungalow) in the Inman Park, Candler Park, Highlands area of the city.


• Finding a job in Internet New Media making twice as much as I do now.


• To know God's will for me concerning my soulmate/rib cage/husband.


• Starting ministry teaching basic computer skills to adults and children as well as starting an art after school program for kids.


• To start streaming music via caferadio.org.


• For the victims of Katrina to stay safe, for families to be reunited and for the Gulf Coast to come back stronger than ever.


• Learning to trust God more and not be conformed to the ways of this world.