This has been a really interesting past couple of weeks. Where do I begin? I'll begin with my car. It's been having issues for the past few weeks. Last Sunday it finally had all that it could take. It's an older car (a 1991 Volvo station wagon) and she's done me well for the past year and a half. The car starts and before I can even put it in drive it cuts off. I just got the car worked on two weeks ago and the car stopped again. It's doing the same thing now as it was doing before I took it in to be worked on so I'm guessing that the problem wasn't fixed. The issue with this car is that every place I go I'm told that they don't work on Volvo's or they work on Volvo's but they don't have the equipment to work on mine because it's too old. My mom, and the mechanic I took the car to, have both suggested that I look into buying another car. I would have thought of that a long time ago if I could afford a car note.

So, because of this it's interfering with my job. But I get the feeling that certain people seem to think it's my fault. Like I had some superhuman power to forsee that my car was going to break down (again) and now that it has it's an inconvenience. I agree. It's not only an inconvience to the job but for me! It's hard when I have to be at work at 5a but the buses don't start running until 5:30a. I'm desperately looking for a car but unfortunately I don't have much to put down b/c I put what I had into the car that's now sitting in my parking lot. I'm trying not to make excuses and honestly I'm not stressed. Just a little confused about certain peoples reaction to the situation. Some folks have not been really supportive (they've almost been kind of jerkish) but I guess you gotta be who you've got to be. Maybe they've never been in my situation and I hope they never have to be because it really doesn't feel good.

In addition, I'm also looking for new employment. My job wants us to do this and do that but has yet to give us a raise. I haven't seen one of those in almost two years! So, I'm working harder, I've gotten no raise and I'm expected to have the funds to aquire adequate transportation. I guess that makes sense in some people's world but unfortunately it doesn't in mine.

The other day I asked a friend in the faith to say a prayer for me while I search for a car and they politely replied "we have not, because we ask not". That wasn't exactly what I was hoping to hear but they may be on to something. I thought I'd been asking God but maybe the problem is not that I haven't been asking but that I didn't necessarily believe that I would receive what I was asking for. And I know that's not what faith's about. If I don't believe that what I ask for in Jesus's name I will receive then why ask? I ponder that sometimes. And Lord knows I'm working on believing what I am asking for. If He's done it once, He's more than capable of doing it again.